In 2019 I had a lot of family stuff going on and I became very depressed from it. I was still in high school at the time and would be sitting in the back of the class with earbuds in and doodling or anything but my class work. I had a lot of anxiety and would go for walks during class to regroup. I didn’t care about anything and wanted to just drop out of school.
It was February, we had February break and I went to my mom’s house for it. My mom and I didn’t get along well. During the last few nights there I just was so depressed and because of my mom’s hurtful words, I didn’t want to be here anymore. We went one of those days before break ended and on the way home I remember my mom said something that really hurt. I told her I thought she’d “be happier without me so I might as well kill myself” she laughed and made jokes yet didn’t focus on the fact I actually didn’t want to be alive anymore.
The second to last day of break, my mom went out with her boyfriend, my 2 sisters and I stayed at the house alone. I felt this was the time so I went to the kitchen and grabbed something and then locked myself in the bathroom. I was crying sitting on the floor with a knife. I then snapped out of it and realized I couldn’t do it because my sisters would be the ones finding me and I got scared so I put it down and immediately texted someone to vent to about the situation.
Ever since then, I’ve been struggling with Depression, anxiety, and self harm. I was in a few crisis units and taken to the hospital many times because I wasn’t safe at home.
I don’t want to talk about it anymore but I wear the “You are enough” bracelet as a daily reminder that I am enough and have a reason to stay alive. I’m doing everything I can to heal from past trauma and become sober from self-harm and when I don’t feel worthy of being alive, I just have to look at the bracelet to remind myself that I AM enough.
This is part of my story and I hope others can feel inspired to find a nice reminder for themselves too!