I'd had it. Looking back now, all the problems were temporary and definitely fixable, but that's not how younger me saw it. Younger me was stuck in a vast sea of self loathing and lack of hope in the future. I'd had year after year of horrific blows and wasn't sure how much more I could take. Parents splitting, family feuds, entering a toxic relationship in which I was regularly abused in body, mind, and spirit. Struggling with self identity and not seeing a place for myself in this world anymore. I had a plan, and I felt my knees buckling to succumb to the next wave. I wasn't strong enough.
Then I saw the light. Heh, I know, corny right? But it's true. That's exactly how it happened. My very dearest friend at the time wrapped their arms around me and told me they saw me falling and weren't going to let me go. They told me they weren't giving me permission to leave, and to ensure I did not, insisted I come and live with them.
When I looked into their eyes that day, I saw this wild light through their tears. A light that cut through this darkness and screamed the words: Keep Fighting. I Need You. I'm still here. Some years after this incident, that friend and I realized the love we shared cut much deeper than either of us ever realized. Now we sail those rough seas together, very happily married. I can't imagine life differently, and I'm so very grateful that I stayed. My Guiding Light. My Jey. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life basking in your light. Thank you for teaching me what love can be so that I can start to fall more and more in love with life. (And with you ✨❤️)